Blow Jobs and Anal Sex
How can I get my wife to give me head & have anal sex?
OOOH!! There's a loaded question.
Let's start with the basics - have you ever asked her? (Have you asked her in a nice, loving and non whiny or demanding way?) Do you return the favor? (I just finished writing out again that I believe oral sex should be a two-way street. Don't expect someone to do for you what you won't do for them.)
Let's start with the easy one - how do you get her to blow you...
Before I go any further, I must tell you that it is VERY VERY IMPORTANT that you never nag, get demanding, manipulative, angry or wear her down asking every day. Always be patient, and that to do these things for you would put her in a wonderful position of having you turn to putty in your hands. I'm amazed at how many men whine and wheedle, "C'mon, blow me," instead of something simple and nice like, '"Having your mouth on me would turn me into complete putty." Or something.
With that said, has she ever tried? Does she flat out refuse or does she try but have a difficult time of it? DO NOT make her feel pressured. Ask her one night, nicely, to please try or try again. If she says no, ASK HER to please think about it, and try when she feels ready. That will make her feel like she has some control over it, that she's not being pressured and will most likely catch her in a mood where she feels like doing something for you.
There are 3 reasons women don't want to give blow-jobs: they're afraid they'll be no good at it, they have a bad gag reflex, or they think it's "gross." The gag reflex can be dealt with - tell her to start out slow, don't worry about taking the whole enchilada into her mouth at once. Do what she can, comfortably - trust me, you can build up a strong gag reflex with practice.
If she thinks it's gross... seduce the hell out of her and go on about how sexy all her 2000 parts are and try to slowly change her view of "gross" to "hot as hell."
If all that works, no matter how it turns out, GO ON AND ON AND ON, afterward about how amazing it was to have her do that to you, and how appreciative you are and something like "YOWSA!! That felt good." Do not immediately mention her doing it again. The key is to make her feel like she's in a position of power and that she was damn hot in that position.
The same stuff goes for your second request. Except it's probably going to be waaaaaaay harder to talk her into that one. I've found that women typically go in one of two directions with the anal sex thing. Love it or hate it. Minds can be changed, women can be convinced, but this is one you may have to resign yourself to never being allowed to do. At the very least, we can see if she'll at least TRY it once, right? And tell her that - just try it twice and if it's absolutely horrible and she just can't get her mind around it, you won't ask again. (I say twice because that first nervous experimental time isn't a good gauge for either of you.)
Now - women don't want to do THIS one for many reasons: it's "gross", it's too taboo & kinky and they're not supposed to want to do that, it's uncomfortable or painful or they're afraid it will be, or just plain old-fashioned embarrassment. Same as before - don't beg, threaten, demand. Ask nicely, make her feel sexy yadda yadda yadda. Everything I said previously but EVEN MORE SO. Tell her if she'll just TRY it, you'll go at a pace that's comfortable for her, you'll stop if she needs you to, that it will make you the happiest man on the planet (the point is it should make her feel hot & sexy not shy or uncomfortable). Don't make TOO big a fuss of it if she agrees, or it becomes awkward, but do plan ahead. I've already written too much to go into technique here - your question is how to get her to do it, not how to do it, eh? Ask me that after she agrees. But DO offer to let her get a feel for it first with either toys or the good-old fingers. And I'm going to tell you to have a few drinks first.
Seriously. No, I mean SERIOUSLY. Not so many that you're both wasted, but enough that you have a good buzz. That will keep you both relaxed and up the likelihood that she'll enjoy it. Most women seem to hate it after trying it because they say it hurt - because they weren't relaxed enough. So that, of course, makes it less likely she'll do it again.
Good luck, and if she says yes, ask me all about the technique!
MFM
How do I get my man to let me have sex with another guy fucking me anally while I am on top of my man?
Have you tried asking him? The fantasy trade-off usually works. Ask him what his fantasy is, and tell him you’ll make it happen for him if he will take part in your fantasy. Sometimes it is hard for a man to share his woman with another man, but make sure he understands that this is a fantasy. This is something to make you feel good and you want to share it with him.
Try Adult Friend Finder if you don't already have someone in mind.
Loretta [NSFW]
Loretta and Beatrix, the two stars of our recent photo set, Friends Forever, as it turns out actually are friends, and have been so since their teens when they started modeling together in fashion magazines in England. It was Loretta who first moved to nude modeling, and Beatrix, slow to accept the exposure, lagged behind. But when Loretta said she'd be posing for FEMJOY, Beatrix changed her mind, given the quality of the images on her site. She knew it was a chance not to be passed up to be shot for the finest erotic nudes site on the web.
In this set, you get to see them on the beach together, fully nude, sharing intense moments of sensual intimacy. Apparently, the "friends" had never really gone this far with each other, but something was sparked, and it's a fire that burns to this day. They discovered something out there by the sea, and they haven't been able to turn their backs on it since. Call it a mutual admiration that leans toward a desire to touch.
FEMJOY is glad to have helped these two beauties realize their passion. And we're glad to share their passion with you.
It's Mental
No point in saying it in a round-about way: something is wrong. Even during foreplay, I have trouble staying erect, or even getting it there, as soon as a woman touches me something happens inside and my little soldier doesn’t salute. This is difficult for me as well as my partner, help please!
Has this been a problem in the past? Are you able to masturbate to completion?
The cause of this could psychological in nature. Losing an erection or an absence of ejaculation is caused by any number of anxiety-related concerns. Some men have conscious and unconscious worries that effect erections or block ejaculations. They may worry about hurting the woman, about pregnancy, or they may have guilt about having sexual pleasure (often religious injunctions). They may have difficulties with intimacy and/or commitment. They may also be haunted by that nemesis of sexual dysfunctions -- performance anxiety. In other words, they are just plain trying too hard. In these instances the man is so concerned about giving his partner pleasure that he loses track of his own.
For you, my guess is the last reason. You want to see a doctor (since I am NOT one!). Have you tried Viagra, Cialis or Levitra? You may want to take that first step. Ask your doctor.
Losing Sex Drive
My wife is only 44 years old and has no feelings or desire for sex what so ever. She has been to her gyno who told to just accept it and that it's normal as we age to lose our sex drive.
I say HOGWASH! Is there anything she can take to try and bring it back? She has a little high blood pressure she takes medication for so it would have to be something that wouldn't interfere with her blood pressure. Any suggestions?
It is entirely possible for you and your wife to carry on a sexual relationship for the rest of your lives. I have a few suggestions for you. My first would be that together you try to explore some new methods of love making to make it more arousing for both of you. Sometimes a little variety is all it takes. Measures taken don't have to be drastic. Play with some of her fantasies. Make her feel comfortable and beautiful. If you want to pursue medical options, some doctors are now prescribing Viagra for women. Because your wife has high blood pressure, i would suggest working closely with a doctor who is understanding of all of her issues. I would not go back to the gyno who suggested that her lack of sex drive was normal and natural. That thinking and resignation is not helpful for a healthy and natural sex life into your later years. Viagra will increase the sensitivity of the clitoris and make arousal easier. It is still considered experimental for women, but you may find it is what does the trick.
Tips for increasing desire
- Relax. This is the most important thing you can do. Have a bath, use deep-breathing techniques or buy a relaxation tape.
- Check your environment. Be sure there are no distractions to you becoming aroused and that the atmosphere suits your mood.
- Exercise your pelvic floor. This will increase the blood flow to your genital area and make you more conscious of any sensations of physical arousal.
- Try using fantasy. Get yourself in the mood by slipping into a favourite fantasy.
- Enjoy being sensual before you're sexual. Take your time and allow your body focus on the pleasurable sensations of touch.
- Change your view. Get sex into the forefront of your mind by reading or watching something more raunchy than you'd normally choose.
- Focus on positives. If there's something about your partner or yourself you don't like, don't think about it. Force yourself to look at and think about the positives, instead.
- Stimulate your sympathetic nervous system. Exercise, watch a scary movie, go on a roller coaster - anything that will speed up your heart rate. Research suggests that 15 to 30 minutes later your body is more sexually responsive.
Bend Over Boyfriend
I have no doubt that I am straight, but lately I've been wanting my girlfriend to put on a strap on and fuck me.
How do I ask this? My ex-girlfriend introduced me to putting her fingers inside my anus during oral sex, and ever since I have been addicted to the feeling. Should I feel ashamed when I finger my anus when going down on a girl? When my wife gives me hand jobs she sometimes puts a small vibrator in my ass. I like this it makes me get off so hard. I often wonder what it would feel like to use a larger one, but I don't know how to ask her. I don't want her to get freaked out by just coming out and asking for a bigger one.
Do you have any good ideals on how I might ask her?
Thanks for any help!
Lucky you for having met someone who introduced you to something
new! You absolutely should NOT feel anything bad about what you enjoy. Many, many men enjoy the well-placed finger, whether their own or a partner's. Why not take it up a notch and position yourself in a way that lets your girlfriend have that access to you while you go down on her? Of course, doing it for yourself is just fine but feel free to clue any future partners in about what turns you on as well!
I wouldn't worry too much about freaking her out, as she's already ok with the idea of using toys on you. If you want to try something bigger, you have a few options. You could ask as she's using the small vibrator - it's quite sexy to tell someone how much you enjoy what they're doing to you, and then add, "What do you think about trying something bigger?" Or, surprise her - buy a toy you'd like to try and next time she reaches for the vibrator, have the new toy ready and ask, with a big smile, "Can we try this one?". OR - simply talk to her, talk about how much you enjoy what she does, that you're glad the two of you are comfortable enough together to explore different things, sexually. Ask if there's anything else she'd like to try which will probably lead to asking the same of you and then you can tell her. You never know - she may already be thinking the same thing! 
Anal Sex Convincing?
How do I convince my wife to agree to anal sex?
My advice would be to ask her. Tell her that you think that it is really hot and you will make sure that you don’t hurt her. Make sure that she is completely relaxed. Maybe have a couple glasses of wine. If she is not relaxed it will hurt her. Make sure that you prepare her by inserting a finger or two into her anus. Use lubrication, it helps. You can use something like KY Jelly or lotion. Very slowly put your penis into your anus and tell her that if at any time she feels too uncomfortable that you will stop.
As a side note, do not pull your penis all the way out and then reinsert it fully again. This is a little painful. Good luck.
Update: From Askmen.com
Because anal sex feels good
Women love anal sex because it can feel absolutely incredible. It's different in sensation and it doesn’t feel like anything else she may have felt before -- it's deep inside, it's not her clitoris and is not in her vagina, but feels strangely like both in a sort of mixed-up combination in another part of her body. The rectum, once it’s ready, literally swallows the penis up and can’t get enough. The back passage transforms itself into a sexual playground. If the clitoris and/or vagina are stimulated while you are inside of her, it can take her to another sexual realm. Anal orgasms are possible.
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