Nancy-Ann advice on sex, love and erotic enhancements

Blow Jobs and Anal Sex

How can I get my wife to give me head & have anal sex?

OOOH!! There's a loaded question.

Let's start with the basics - have you ever asked her? (Have you asked her in a nice, loving and non whiny or demanding way?) Do you return the favor? (I just finished writing out again that I believe oral sex should be a two-way street. Don't expect someone to do for you what you won't do for them.)

Let's start with the easy one - how do you get her to blow you...

Before I go any further, I must tell you that it is VERY VERY IMPORTANT that you never nag, get demanding, manipulative, angry or wear her down asking every day. Always be patient, and that to do these things for you would put her in a wonderful position of having you turn to putty in your hands. I'm amazed at how many men whine and wheedle, "C'mon, blow me," instead of something simple and nice like, '"Having your mouth on me would turn me into complete putty." Or something.

With that said, has she ever tried? Does she flat out refuse or does she try but have a difficult time of it? DO NOT make her feel pressured. Ask her one night, nicely, to please try or try again. If she says no, ASK HER to please think about it, and try when she feels ready. That will make her feel like she has some control over it, that she's not being pressured and will most likely catch her in a mood where she feels like doing something for you.

There are 3 reasons women don't want to give blow-jobs: they're afraid they'll be no good at it, they have a bad gag reflex, or they think it's "gross." The gag reflex can be dealt with - tell her to start out slow, don't worry about taking the whole enchilada into her mouth at once. Do what she can, comfortably - trust me, you can build up a strong gag reflex with practice.

If she thinks it's gross... seduce the hell out of her and go on about how sexy all her 2000 parts are and try to slowly change her view of "gross" to "hot as hell."

If all that works, no matter how it turns out, GO ON AND ON AND ON, afterward about how amazing it was to have her do that to you, and how appreciative you are and something like "YOWSA!! That felt good." Do not immediately mention her doing it again. The key is to make her feel like she's in a position of power and that she was damn hot in that position.

The same stuff goes for your second request. Except it's probably going to be waaaaaaay harder to talk her into that one. I've found that women typically go in one of two directions with the anal sex thing. Love it or hate it. Minds can be changed, women can be convinced, but this is one you may have to resign yourself to never being allowed to do. At the very least, we can see if she'll at least TRY it once, right? And tell her that - just try it twice and if it's absolutely horrible and she just can't get her mind around it, you won't ask again. (I say twice because that first nervous experimental time isn't a good gauge for either of you.)

Now - women don't want to do THIS one for many reasons: it's "gross", it's too taboo & kinky and they're not supposed to want to do that, it's uncomfortable or painful or they're afraid it will be, or just plain old-fashioned embarrassment. Same as before - don't beg, threaten, demand. Ask nicely, make her feel sexy yadda yadda yadda. Everything I said previously but EVEN MORE SO. Tell her if she'll just TRY it, you'll go at a pace that's comfortable for her, you'll stop if she needs you to, that it will make you the happiest man on the planet (the point is it should make her feel hot & sexy not shy or uncomfortable). Don't make TOO big a fuss of it if she agrees, or it becomes awkward, but do plan ahead. I've already written too much to go into technique here - your question is how to get her to do it, not how to do it, eh? Ask me that after she agrees. But DO offer to let her get a feel for it first with either toys or the good-old fingers. And I'm going to tell you to have a few drinks first.

Seriously. No, I mean SERIOUSLY. Not so many that you're both wasted, but enough that you have a good buzz. That will keep you both relaxed and up the likelihood that she'll enjoy it. Most women seem to hate it after trying it because they say it hurt - because they weren't relaxed enough. So that, of course, makes it less likely she'll do it again.

Good luck, and if she says yes, ask me all about the technique!