Retrograde Ejaculation
Dear Nancy-Ann, I have no problem getting an erection. As a matter of fact I can get it up everyday if necessary. My problem is with ejaculation. My girlfriend loves oral sex and isn't satisfied unless I come in her mouth. She wants to swallow as much of my semen as she can get but the problem is she is not getting any because when I climax there is no semen pumping out of my penis.
My penis throbs like I was going to come but no semen. All my climaxes have been dry runs. What is my problem and will any of the Serogen products work for me?
Bobby
Well Bobby, let me first say I don’t know who I envy more, you or girlfriend. A partner who’s willing AND able is every girls wish. As for your lack of ejaculate during climax, that may be potentially more serious. It sounds like what you are experiencing is a condition called retrograde ejaculation. The causes range from diabetes, BPH, side effects of certain prescription meds, or the results of surgical procedures. I am not a doctor, so please don’t take this as a professional diagnosis!! Get to a doctor.
I am an outspoken believer in the beneficial qualities of Serogen, as it promotes overall prostate health. In your case, I suggest you consult a urologist as soon as possible to get your condition diagnosed correctly so you then find out from a professional what your options are.
Speak Up!
Nancy-Ann,
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and I have no problem getting her to achieve orgasm. But she is never very vocal during sex, which makes me feel like it’s not big enough. I've talked to her about getting penis enlargement pills but she says that it would only make the sex bad. Should I try to secretly increase my size with pills? And why is she not vocal when we have sex?
BH - Via the Internet
BH,
Why is it you equate your girlfriend not being vocal during sex with your penis size and your self-perception of its (inadequate) measurement? Maybe she's just not an openly vocal person when it comes to sex. Not all women are. Many feel embarrassed to hear themselves out loud. Some prefer to be in their heads and bodies instead of being overly, verbally demonstrative.
It seems your girlfriend is perfectly satisfied with your size and technique; I mean, you say she reaches orgasm, right? So what's the problem with your size? This seems like an issue of inadequacy conjured solely in your mind.
Instead of talking to her about getting enlargement pills, why not talk to her about how much of a turn-on it would be if she could tell you (aloud) how it feels while you're getting her off?
Hope this helps.
N-A
Need A Second Opinion
I am a 56 yr old black male who is having a problem with my erections.
Initially the cause was due to a mid-back injury. 3 herniated discs (non operable) that would cause muscle spasms that would end lovemaking with my wife. In September of last year I was diagnosed with diabetes. My doctor and diabetic nurse say that both can impact my ability to have or maintain an erection. When I am able to complete the act my ejaculation is nowhere near normal.
Is there anything that you can advise/suggest that my doctor and nurse have missed? The doctor just prescribed Viagra and it has not worked. I find it very depressing and I know that it is effecting my wife also because it bothers her that I cannot complete the act. She knows it is not her fault; I let her know that after 36 years of marriage I am still very much sexually attracted too her.
Thank you.
First of all, let me say that this must be a very frustrating situation for both you and your wife. It seems that first of all, you and your wife may need to revamp some of your ideas about sex. While it is frustrating that you are not able to ejaculate, that doesn't have to have such an impact of your wife's ideas about sex with you. Perhaps looking into some alternative sexual methods may make you feel closer to one another. My suggestion might be tantric sex, where emphasis is not placed on ejaculation, but being sexually present and satisfied with your partner. You do not have to let medical issues end your sexual relationship, but both you and your wife must be willing to explore new methods of arousal and satisfaction. Communication is essential as a first step. Good luck!
Bigger Cock, Louder Sex?
My girlfriend and I have been together for about three years and I have no problem getting her to achieve orgasm, but she is never very vocal during sex, which makes me feel like it’s not big enough. I’ve talked to her about getting penis enlargement pills, but she says that’s a bad idea. Should I try to secretly increase the size with pills? And why is she not vocal when we have sex?
First off, I would not try secretly increasing the size of your penis. The pills that you see advertised everywhere do not work. They are a waste of money. Secondly, your girlfriend not being vocal during sex probably has nothing to do with the size of your penis. Women are often quite shy about making a lot of noise while they are having sex. Are you very vocal during sex? This is the place to start. Show her how sexy you think it is to show how turned on you are. Try talking dirty. Tell her exactly what you are going to do to her. Talk to her while you do it. Ask her what she likes. Ask her what she wants. Make her feel comfortable and unembarrassed about making noise. I bet it’ll make a big difference.
Hope for the uncut?
Is there anyway to make a penis bigger and longer if the penis isn't circumcises yet?
Does the skin cause a problem with becoming fully erect?
Also, every time I have sex with my wife, I don't last long, I orgasm before my wife. I've tried condoms, delay cream, and masturbating before having sex. It's not working.
Is there anyway to hold orgasm a little bit longer ?
Having your foreskin still has nothing to do with the length and size of your penis. If anything, the foreskin increases sensation. This helps the penis get as long as thick and as hard as possible. Removal of your foreskin would not have any benefit at all in regards to the size of your penis.
There are a few things that you can try to help you wait to cum. My first suggestion would be to slow your breathing while you are having sex. If you can slow your rhythm down, it can help delay orgasm. Instead of shallow and fast breaths, breath deeply and slowly. You can also practice holding off cumming by taking your time masturbating. Slowly get yourself as hard as you can. Take your time working yourself into a complete erection. Do not ejaculate. Let the erection go down a bit. Start over again. See how long you can keep yourself hard and aroused without ejaculating. Finally, let yourself ejaculate. This will help extend how long it takes for you to cum.
Finally, you can also arouse your girlfriend until she is just about to cum, either with you mouth or hands, and then have sex with her. Or let her cum first and then you can try to make her cum again with your penis.
No Morning O's
Why is it that most of the times we have sex in the morning I very rarely have an orgasm, but any other time of day it's usually not a problem?
The reason that it is sometimes difficult for women to achieve orgasms in the a.m. is that our hormone levels are the lowest in the morning and the highest at night. It is, however, the opposite for men. My suggestion would be that you try some extended and slow foreplay. The morning might be the time for you to bring out the sex toys. Try having your partner perform oral sex. It's a great way to start your day, but you might have to put in a little bit of extra time.
Ex Sex
I have a problem.
I used to be married but I got divorced. I am currently living with someone else but for the last 2 years since my divorce I am still going to my x wife's house at night and we have sex. Better then ever.
I know I still love her and that she loves me. The only thing is the last couple of days she is turning me down and saying to me: "No don't come today; I will call you" and stuff. I tell her on a daily basis: "Let's try it, let's see each other like this for some time and if it goes fine I will leave my current girl friend and come back to where I wanna be".
The question is what can I do to show her that I wanna try to do just that?? Because for her it is like I just wanna come over have sex, cum and leave, and for me it isn't like that. The last time I walked in and she said take of you clothes. She took of her p.j.'s, she was naked there and she said come do what you gotta do, fuck me and leave. I did have sex with her because at my house with my current girl friend I'm not having sex because of the mixed feelings and wanting my ex wife so yes. I penetrated her and yes I fucked her but it was just in out in out cum cum and that's it.
When she said to me take of your clothes for me it was like wawww she wants to see me naked and she wants to play with me and suck my cock and stuff but noooo just in out in out no kisses no nothing she did not even want me to lick and suck her pussy + titties.
What should I do?
Whether you and your wife get back together or not there's something you need to take care of immediately: STOP CHEATING ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND. If you want to be with your ex-wife, then why are you still living with someone else? It is unfair to your girlfriend to have you running around to have sex with your ex-wife like this, ok?
First things first: Confess to your girlfriend and end that relationship. If you want to stay with your girlfriend, then you MUST stop seeing your ex-wife.
As for your ex-wife: There's a reason she's your ex-wife and I'd be willing to bet that you aren't the only man she's having sex with. Let's pretend, for a moment, that maybe she does want to be with you again - the fact that you live with someone else is a bit of a problem, isn't it? If your ex-wife wants proof that you want to try, then be a man and step up and leave your current girlfriend.
In any case, I feel sorry for your current girlfriend - seeing how you're treating her, I can't blame your ex-wife for saying what she does. You need to do the right thing here and stop lying to everyone involved and get yourself out of this mess.
Ball Tying
I have tried tying my balls up during sex and it gives me a very intense cum shot. Is there any danger to this?
As long as you are not tying your balls up too tightly, it should not be a problem. I also do not suggest keeping your balls tied up when you are not either having sex or masturbating. This could affect your sperm count and reproductive health. Otherwise… enjoy.
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Different Sex Drives
The issue I have involves my wife and me. It seems like as time progresses my sex drive has increased when my wife's has taken a nose dive and continues diving. When we first met it was anytime, anyplace. Now we're lucky to have sex twice a month and those two times it seems like I'm the only one there. She has actually fallen asleep while I was going down on her! I have read so many books and articles on this subject, even tried movies and toys but nothing is working. If it is brought up in discussion it always turns into a huge argument. She no longer initiates sex or wants to change positions during sex. It's just like as long as I don't move her from her back or wake her up it's okay. I don't know what to do. I love my wife with all of my heart and I don't want this to be an issue but I miss making love to her. Please help.
This is a really common problem that most long-term couples have. It is not necessarily a reflection of whether or not your relationship is at, but rather just a natural fact that people become accustomed to one another.
Have you asked your wife how she is feeling about herself? Does she know how much you want her? Not just her body, but how important she is to you? No amount of trying to spice things up can replace the basics of bringing romance and desire into your relationship. Try spending what her idea of a perfect day is whether her. Go back to the beginning, and try courting her again. Let her remember why she fell in love with you, and my bet would be that the sex will follow. Let her know how much you still want her, and not just for your own gratification. Let her know that you want the union that you had in the beginning. Spicing things up isn't always the answer.
Sometimes it is going back to the basics of affection rather than sexuality. Try massages that don't necessarily lead to sex. Eventually they will. I know it is a difficult and frustrating road, but she may not being having a problem with you, rather herself. Start by rebuilding what you have between the two of you that exists outside of sex.
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The Porn Issue
Dear Tim,
Simply put: Women do not understand the need for porn. Period. Some accept it, but many want to believe they are the center of their partner’s sexual universe, and porn is competition for their man’s attention and lust. We are not wired to be aroused visually. I suspect her not to ever see it your way. She most likely cannot imagine sitting at her computer or lounging on the couch watching strangers sucking and fucking.
Your porn collection could be making her feel that she is not perfect enough for you sexually. Adult starlets can seem threatening, mainly because of how unrealistic and enhanced they are. Girls are getting their pussies surgically reshaped, never mind the standard breast implants, shaving, lingerie, ad infinitum to keep up! Those slutty Barbie’s just kind of piss us off in general.
Looking at porn from time to time is completely normal for a man. Keep your stash better hidden.
Taking into account what I just said, you might try presenting it along this vein. That you have no emotional attachment to the women. Explain that – while viewing -- she always pops into your mind and you re-live some of your best moments together. She is the center of your erotic universe, and perhaps you both could watch together and see if there are new ways to pleasure each other that you have not tried. Be prepared, she may just gross out, or laugh at the hokey acting or close-ups of genitals in motion. There are a number of adult Websites geared for women and couples http://www.forthegirls.com is just one example). I would start there and not show her anything too kinky or deliberately demeaning.
Hope this helps.
N-A