Losing Sex Drive
My wife is only 44 years old and has no feelings or desire for sex what so ever. She has been to her gyno who told to just accept it and that it's normal as we age to lose our sex drive.
I say HOGWASH! Is there anything she can take to try and bring it back? She has a little high blood pressure she takes medication for so it would have to be something that wouldn't interfere with her blood pressure. Any suggestions?
It is entirely possible for you and your wife to carry on a sexual relationship for the rest of your lives. I have a few suggestions for you. My first would be that together you try to explore some new methods of love making to make it more arousing for both of you. Sometimes a little variety is all it takes. Measures taken don't have to be drastic. Play with some of her fantasies. Make her feel comfortable and beautiful. If you want to pursue medical options, some doctors are now prescribing Viagra for women. Because your wife has high blood pressure, i would suggest working closely with a doctor who is understanding of all of her issues. I would not go back to the gyno who suggested that her lack of sex drive was normal and natural. That thinking and resignation is not helpful for a healthy and natural sex life into your later years. Viagra will increase the sensitivity of the clitoris and make arousal easier. It is still considered experimental for women, but you may find it is what does the trick.
Tips for increasing desire
- Relax. This is the most important thing you can do. Have a bath, use deep-breathing techniques or buy a relaxation tape.
- Check your environment. Be sure there are no distractions to you becoming aroused and that the atmosphere suits your mood.
- Exercise your pelvic floor. This will increase the blood flow to your genital area and make you more conscious of any sensations of physical arousal.
- Try using fantasy. Get yourself in the mood by slipping into a favourite fantasy.
- Enjoy being sensual before you're sexual. Take your time and allow your body focus on the pleasurable sensations of touch.
- Change your view. Get sex into the forefront of your mind by reading or watching something more raunchy than you'd normally choose.
- Focus on positives. If there's something about your partner or yourself you don't like, don't think about it. Force yourself to look at and think about the positives, instead.
- Stimulate your sympathetic nervous system. Exercise, watch a scary movie, go on a roller coaster - anything that will speed up your heart rate. Research suggests that 15 to 30 minutes later your body is more sexually responsive.
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