Need A Second Opinion
I am a 56 yr old black male who is having a problem with my erections.
Initially the cause was due to a mid-back injury. 3 herniated discs (non operable) that would cause muscle spasms that would end lovemaking with my wife. In September of last year I was diagnosed with diabetes. My doctor and diabetic nurse say that both can impact my ability to have or maintain an erection. When I am able to complete the act my ejaculation is nowhere near normal.
Is there anything that you can advise/suggest that my doctor and nurse have missed? The doctor just prescribed Viagra and it has not worked. I find it very depressing and I know that it is effecting my wife also because it bothers her that I cannot complete the act. She knows it is not her fault; I let her know that after 36 years of marriage I am still very much sexually attracted too her.
Thank you.
First of all, let me say that this must be a very frustrating situation for both you and your wife. It seems that first of all, you and your wife may need to revamp some of your ideas about sex. While it is frustrating that you are not able to ejaculate, that doesn't have to have such an impact of your wife's ideas about sex with you. Perhaps looking into some alternative sexual methods may make you feel closer to one another. My suggestion might be tantric sex, where emphasis is not placed on ejaculation, but being sexually present and satisfied with your partner. You do not have to let medical issues end your sexual relationship, but both you and your wife must be willing to explore new methods of arousal and satisfaction. Communication is essential as a first step. Good luck!
It's Mental
No point in saying it in a round-about way: something is wrong. Even during foreplay, I have trouble staying erect, or even getting it there, as soon as a woman touches me something happens inside and my little soldier doesn’t salute. This is difficult for me as well as my partner, help please!
Has this been a problem in the past? Are you able to masturbate to completion?
The cause of this could psychological in nature. Losing an erection or an absence of ejaculation is caused by any number of anxiety-related concerns. Some men have conscious and unconscious worries that effect erections or block ejaculations. They may worry about hurting the woman, about pregnancy, or they may have guilt about having sexual pleasure (often religious injunctions). They may have difficulties with intimacy and/or commitment. They may also be haunted by that nemesis of sexual dysfunctions -- performance anxiety. In other words, they are just plain trying too hard. In these instances the man is so concerned about giving his partner pleasure that he loses track of his own.
For you, my guess is the last reason. You want to see a doctor (since I am NOT one!). Have you tried Viagra, Cialis or Levitra? You may want to take that first step. Ask your doctor.
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