Blow Jobs and Anal Sex
How can I get my wife to give me head & have anal sex?
OOOH!! There's a loaded question.
Let's start with the basics - have you ever asked her? (Have you asked her in a nice, loving and non whiny or demanding way?) Do you return the favor? (I just finished writing out again that I believe oral sex should be a two-way street. Don't expect someone to do for you what you won't do for them.)
Let's start with the easy one - how do you get her to blow you...
Before I go any further, I must tell you that it is VERY VERY IMPORTANT that you never nag, get demanding, manipulative, angry or wear her down asking every day. Always be patient, and that to do these things for you would put her in a wonderful position of having you turn to putty in your hands. I'm amazed at how many men whine and wheedle, "C'mon, blow me," instead of something simple and nice like, '"Having your mouth on me would turn me into complete putty." Or something.
With that said, has she ever tried? Does she flat out refuse or does she try but have a difficult time of it? DO NOT make her feel pressured. Ask her one night, nicely, to please try or try again. If she says no, ASK HER to please think about it, and try when she feels ready. That will make her feel like she has some control over it, that she's not being pressured and will most likely catch her in a mood where she feels like doing something for you.
There are 3 reasons women don't want to give blow-jobs: they're afraid they'll be no good at it, they have a bad gag reflex, or they think it's "gross." The gag reflex can be dealt with - tell her to start out slow, don't worry about taking the whole enchilada into her mouth at once. Do what she can, comfortably - trust me, you can build up a strong gag reflex with practice.
If she thinks it's gross... seduce the hell out of her and go on about how sexy all her 2000 parts are and try to slowly change her view of "gross" to "hot as hell."
If all that works, no matter how it turns out, GO ON AND ON AND ON, afterward about how amazing it was to have her do that to you, and how appreciative you are and something like "YOWSA!! That felt good." Do not immediately mention her doing it again. The key is to make her feel like she's in a position of power and that she was damn hot in that position.
The same stuff goes for your second request. Except it's probably going to be waaaaaaay harder to talk her into that one. I've found that women typically go in one of two directions with the anal sex thing. Love it or hate it. Minds can be changed, women can be convinced, but this is one you may have to resign yourself to never being allowed to do. At the very least, we can see if she'll at least TRY it once, right? And tell her that - just try it twice and if it's absolutely horrible and she just can't get her mind around it, you won't ask again. (I say twice because that first nervous experimental time isn't a good gauge for either of you.)
Now - women don't want to do THIS one for many reasons: it's "gross", it's too taboo & kinky and they're not supposed to want to do that, it's uncomfortable or painful or they're afraid it will be, or just plain old-fashioned embarrassment. Same as before - don't beg, threaten, demand. Ask nicely, make her feel sexy yadda yadda yadda. Everything I said previously but EVEN MORE SO. Tell her if she'll just TRY it, you'll go at a pace that's comfortable for her, you'll stop if she needs you to, that it will make you the happiest man on the planet (the point is it should make her feel hot & sexy not shy or uncomfortable). Don't make TOO big a fuss of it if she agrees, or it becomes awkward, but do plan ahead. I've already written too much to go into technique here - your question is how to get her to do it, not how to do it, eh? Ask me that after she agrees. But DO offer to let her get a feel for it first with either toys or the good-old fingers. And I'm going to tell you to have a few drinks first.
Seriously. No, I mean SERIOUSLY. Not so many that you're both wasted, but enough that you have a good buzz. That will keep you both relaxed and up the likelihood that she'll enjoy it. Most women seem to hate it after trying it because they say it hurt - because they weren't relaxed enough. So that, of course, makes it less likely she'll do it again.
Good luck, and if she says yes, ask me all about the technique!
First Orgasm
I received these two questions back to back about first orgasms.
I'm afraid when I actually do have my first orgasm I will pee on my boyfriend.
Is there any way to control your bladder without hindering an orgasm?
Also, what should I suggest for him to do to give me an orgasm so I don't disappoint him?Thanks!
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years, we love being intimate whenever we get together, which isn’t very often. So far we've only had oral sex and she claims to love it, unfortunately to my undying shame I haven't been able to make her cum. I'd give anything to make her orgasm so my question was this: on my most recent oral expedition, she got really into it... I thought she was going to orgasm but she eventually calmed down and told me she wasn't sure if she wanted to keep going. She told me later she felt like she was going to pee, since she's never had an orgasm before, she wasn’t sure if that’s what it really was so I told her and showed her an article, that it is normal to experience this sensation. Fortunately I think that she's over that fear now just because she wants to have an orgasm, but our method is usually me licking her clit and fingering her, which leads me to my question: if she gets to that point again, should I keep fingering her or should I pull my finger, will it matter whether it delays her orgasm? I've noticed in some movies that the stars stop altogether when the girl is having an orgasm, do girls prefer this or does it vary? What should I do when she's getting ready to reach that almighty point?
Don't worry, it's very, very rare that an accident like that would happen during orgasm, though you may occasionally feel the sensation of having to pee right before! But if it's something you're concerned about, simply go to the bathroom before sex. As a side note, urinating before and after sex is highly recommended to avoid nasty little bladder infections.
As for how to have an orgasm - it concerned me a little that you're worried about having one so as not to disappoint him. Make sure that you focus on your own pleasure and satisfaction as well. Find out what you enjoy so that YOU are not disappointed.
That said, a little exploration will go a long way! Spend time touching yourself to discover what works for you. Hard, fast, soft, slow, here or there? Invest in some toys and then bring your boyfriend into the mix. Tell him what you found out you enjoy.
A good and considerate lover will be open to communication, and will be willing to work with you to find what gets you off. Very, very few women are able to reach orgasm from penetration/sex alone - it will probably require a combination of oral/manual stimulation. Most importantly, focus on finding what feels good and don't stress over the orgasm immediately. The more you think about it, the harder and less fun it will be!
Good luck, be safe, and have fun!
First Kiss
My girlfriend wants to kiss me and I wanna kiss her but she can't seem to do it because its her first time.
How can I make her feel comfortable so I can kiss her?
Ah... I remember my first kiss! 14 years later, I still get a case of the giggles the first time I kiss someone new! Taking me by surprise seems to be the only way past it, and it can be very romantic. My boyfriend & I have been together 5 years now - when he first tried to kiss me, I knew he was about to and would start laughing. He waited until I was leaving, and moved in to kiss me before I realized he was going to, and I never giggled again!
So - next time your with her, wait until she least expects it, maybe while you're watching tv. Keep it simple, move towards her and just give her a gentle kiss (no scaring her off by jamming your tongue down her throat, and just light pressure of your lips on hers ok? Don't bruise her, but let her know you're there!) , hold it for a couple seconds, then move away. That should be a nice, not intimidating first kiss that will hopefully make her feel a little more comfortable.
Good luck!
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SCAM SITE REPORTS
The nature of the Web has changed in the last year. Companies that sell products use sneaky optimization practices, create “shadow” sites and write negative reviews and comments about their competitor’s products in the hope to steal the competition away and lure them to the actual Web site that sells the site that gets all the made up accolades. The more you search the Web for products, the more you’ll see these kinds of sites. They are practically identical in nature and companies pay a great deal of money to “buy” these ad positions on search engines like Google and Yahoo. In order to have their advertisements seen they pay more money for their competitions’ product and company name, more money than the competitors pay for their trademarked names themselves!
Website’s that Border on Trademark Infringement
This practice has gotten out of control in the sexual enhancer arena, in particular. Many readers ask me about all kinds of products and as I research them on the Web, I’ve become alarmed at what some Werbsellers will stoop to in order to garner Web traffic.
So … Knowing that money is tight in these difficult economic times, and because reader have brought some of this behavior to light, as a service to my readers (and anyone that shops on the Web), I feel it’s my duty to give out a few “protection” pointers when shopping for sexual enhancements on the Web. Show people some examples of bogus or shadow sites, and provide some simple ways to use these fictitious sites to your advantage in order to find the better product you are looking for.
For example, this is a random site (I’ve heard of Orexis because of consumer complaints; I’ve never heard of Zenerx) I’ve pulled of Google to illustrate how a shadow site is intended to work and how to spot what product the site is shilling for:
The URL is http://impotenceguide.info/orexis-review.html
The corny doctor with the clipboard is the first dead giveaway; the 2d is the “comparision” chart. I clicked on “Let Us Know About Male Products You Have Used - Good and Bad” and emailed the Web administrator. Here’s what I posted:
“I've used both products: Orexis and Zenerx and found them to be of no help when it comes to helping erectile dysfunction. These products did not work, especially Zenerx.
There is no substitute for ED pharmaceuticals like Viagra,® Cialis, ® and Levitra® Please compare Zenerx and Orexis with these top-selling ED medications.”
Because this ED “info” site is shilling for Zenerx, I can guarantee you not only will the site not publish my email, I will not even get a reply!
How to Spot Dubious Web Content
These sites are considered “shadow” or “shill” sites, meaning they are usually administered by a company selling a particular competing product. Shadow sites contain fabricated content (whether it be negative reviews of competitor’s product or fake or anonymous forum postings).The best way to spot these sites are if they are associated with sponsored ads (paid ads that are strategically placed on a search engine page (for example, Google) when a competitor’s product is typed in the search field. The obvious culprits are sites that claim to have hundreds of product reviews or product “comparison” charts. Some sites go as far as creating fictitious “awards” for the product that the page is shilling. Also, be on the lookout for sites with “blogs” that regardless of the product you are searching for, you are in some way magically “steered” to the same product that is somehow always mentioned as the “best” of the bunch.
Another dead giveaway is that the templates of each site (color, font, identical wording, etc) is almost always similar or exactly the same. This type of Web presence is illegal and dishonest.
How to Find Honest Product Reviews, Not Fake or “Planted” Ones
Before I list a bunch of the worst offenders, I want to explain how Web shoppers can discern honest user reviews from disguised ones.
The best way for users to find honest reviews and comments about products they’re thinking of purchasing is to read customer reviews on Amazon, eBay or some of the other legitimate auction sites. User comments found on sites like Amazon are verified before they are posted.
How Web Shoppers can Use These Fabricated Sites to Guide them to the Better Product
Companies that sell products that work don’t need to use their own product names to gain brand loyalty (For instance, the three ED medications I mentioned earlier (Viagra,® Cialis, ® and Levitra®) speak for themselves.
Lets take a look at how someone using a search engine like Google can use the keywords that trigger all these “paid-for” sites to find the optimal product.
For an example, I typed “Serogen” into Google’s search bar.
Here’s some of the sponsored ads that came up:
www.viswiss.com
http://www.herbal-sex-secrets.com/
http://www.themanschoice.com
http://www.everestnutrition.com/?SSAID=279755
http://www.libidez.com/
Each Libidez™ capsule contains 420mg of an incredibly potent all-natural Erection Boosting Blend! This particular blend took over 7 years to perfect.
Libidez™ is comprised of a special blend of Herbs, Mushrooms and Greens.
Sexual Stimulant Blend 180mg
Organic Green Blend 60mg
I’ve also listed a few sites that have come up on the radar as “questionable.” The sites I’ve mentioned have either been reported by customers to consumer spots such as www.ripoffreport.com and www.complaints.com as well as sites with pending lawsuits against them as reported by Internet press release news services.
The following sites are guilty of this fraudulent behavior (most all of them are associated with the product, Orexis, distributed by Urban Nutrition.
www.ManTested.com
www.Herbal-Sex-Secrets.com
www.mensblogcustomers.com
www.themanschoice.com
www.mensblogtalk.com
I encourage my readers send email to me if you feel you have been misled or believe you have purchased a bogus product from a questionable Webseller.
Here are some other links to consumer complaints and board discussions that involve various male enhancement products (the names of the products are mentioned in the complaints and forum threads):
http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/340/RipOff0340676.htm
http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/129/RipOff0129374.htm#95699
http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/059/RipOff0059819.htm
http://www.complaintsboard.com/complaints/rip-off-c146214.html
http://boards.webmd.com/webx?THD@@.899f24ac!thdchild=.899f24ac/6
http://learntheropes.net/reports/2009/01/the-truth-about-the-original-swedish-ropes-formula/