My wife tells me that I'm big enough and that I hurt good. Am I too big, should I take it easy? I am happy married for twenty years and with in these years we have six children and great moments of love and sex. I was wondering are there other things that I can do, techniques or skills we may use on each other. Life and Love is wonderful but can I do more want to keep it going. Right now I'm in the Army, separated from family for a year and missing my wife's body. So when I get home don't want to hurt her. Send me other techniques on pleasing her.

Thank you.

You can tell whether or not you are hurting your wife by looking at her face while you are having sex. If she looks like she is in pain, she probably is. Some positions hurt your partner more than others if you have a large penis. The most painful will be her on top. The least painful will be with you from behind (doggy style). Missionary should be alright, but you need to ask her and pay attention to her body and its reactions. You can also try entering her from behind with her on her side. If you do decide to have intercourse from behind make sure that her clit is stimulated. You can either do this with your hands or tell her you think its sexy if she does it herself. Then you have the pleasure of satisfying her, but also watching her satisfy herself.

If you want to impress your wife with new techniques, my suggestion would be to focus as much attention as you can on her body, particularly her nipples and her clitoris. Really impress her by how turned on you are by her body. I guarantee she'll be pleased.

I'm writing you this letter in concern of my libido. I often experience a long time of flaccid erection right after i ejaculate, and it's kind of bothering when your wife is waiting for a second round. I don't know if you can suggest or recommend me any supplement I can use to correct that. Also, while making love with my wife, I spend time touching and arousing her, until she's close to orgasm. But the problem is that she don't like to let it come, and often, her libido is not as its height. Can you also help her with that? I understand because she suffers from cancer.

As far as your libido, I have two suggestions. The first is that you try a supplement like Serogen along with some some strengthening exercises called Kegel Exercises. These will help with your control of your penis as well as your orgasms. The exercises are easy to do. Begin by stopping your urine in midstream next time you are peeing. This is the muscles you are trying to strengthen. Now try doing it when you are not peeing. Practice this is reps of ten throughout the day. You will notice a difference. My other suggestion is that while you are waiting to get your second wind, you stimulate your wife. Go down on her. Most women are multi-orgasmic. Go back to focusing on her body. Let her come. She may feel self-conscious about her body if she has suffered with cancer. You need to help her get back in touch with her body as her own. Let her know how attracted you still are to her, and that absolutely nothing has changed. Find the areas of her body that arouse both her and you, and really spend some time with them in order to re-arouse yourself and be ready for round two.

Nancy-Ann,

I have been shaving my testicles and shaft since I was 18. I am 29 now. I have been married for 2 years and my shave job hurts my wife when we have sex. It is hampering our sex life. I must shave every day to keep it smooth for her and even then it will irritate her if we go for any length of time. I have started electrolysis but it is very expensive and time consuming. Any thoughts or ideas for us to try? Something to maybe strengthen her skin down there or eliminate my hair? We are desperate and willing to try anything.

- Ready and Rough

R&R,

First off, there is nothing available to “strengthen her skin down there.” Have you ever asked if she wants you completely shaved every day? Or is this strictly what YOU want?

Note to all gentlemen concerned about genital “manscaping”: Please read my entire post for the pros and cons of various hair removal options. But first, hear me out:

You are men. Men have hair ... on their face and neck, chest, stomach, inside their nostrils, on their ass, balls and shaft. All women who love men accept this and have no problem with it. My simple advice: Why not just keep ALL your body hair (not just pubic) neatly trimmed (and clean!) for your main squeeze. Trust me, we’re fine with a youthful-looking genital grooming.

That said, the rest of what follows is for the stubborn who are constantly looking for ways to rid themselves of hair on and around their “area.”

Truth is, if you insist on using a razor on your pubic hair, it is, without a doubt, going to get itchy within 24 hours. And since it's a blade, well, you can do the math when something that sharp comes that close to your most prized possession.

What follows is a list of alternatives to shaving. You don't need to razor away your pubic hair on a daily basis. The following are some other methods to lose that unruly bush.

Waxing
I'm certain you've heard the horror stories associated with ripping the hair out of your body from the root. I'm here to tell you that it really is as painful as "they" say. Of course, there are good and bad things about this particular method of hair removal:

Pros:

• The pubic hair won't grow back for four to six weeks (even longer if you use a hair inhibitor afterwards).
• Hair grows back softer.
• It's relatively cheap.

Cons:

• The male genital area is so sensitive that chances are you'll crying like a bitch.
• It may result in ingrown hairs.
• You can't wax your testicles (you really can’t, but feel free to try plucking!).
• You have to wait for the hair to grow back at least ½ an inch before you can remove it again.

Laser
Laser hair removal by far surpasses all other methods of hair removal. What it involves is the use of a laser that zaps hair away.

Pros:

• Causes minor discomfort and only for a short while (a few hours) after procedure.
• Leads to permanent hair removal.
• It's quick.

Cons:

• It works best on dark-haired, light-skinned individuals.
• It's expensive.
• It requires additional treatment for dormant hair.
• You can't expose the area to sun for weeks (for you nudists out there).

Keep in Mind
No matter what method of hair removal you opt for, make sure, first and foremost, that if you're going to remove the pubic hair, it goes in accordance with the rest of your body. If you're a hairy beast from the face down and suddenly your penis and his buddies are completely bare, you'll look somewhat odd when you're naked... to say the least.

As well, if you're going to have someone else handle your private area, make sure they have the adequate credentials to do so. After all, the family jewels must remain intact at all times.

Depilatories
If you've ever seen the (long-ago) "we wear short shorts" commercial, then you know what a depilatory cream is. It's a lotion that you place over the hair for a few minutes, and then, when you wash it off -- POOF! -- the hair is gone.

Pros:

• It's incredibly cheap.
• It doesn't take much time.
• You can do it at home.
• It exfoliates the skin simultaneously.

Cons:

• It's not recommended for sensitive areas RE: Your twig and berries!
• It sometimes has an unpleasant scent.
• It may cause acne or rashes in the area (always test on a small area of your body before use).

Electrolysis
Like the name sounds, this method of hair removal involves little shocks of electricity that eventually annihilate hair for good. What it does is cause the hair to grow back thinner and weaker each time until it eventually dies.

Pros:

• Considering the pubic hair area is incredibly sensitive, some electrologists provide Lidocaine to numb the area first so you won't feel a thing.
• It's relatively safe.
• It's permanent

Cons:

• If you've already tried other methods, your hair might be more stubborn and harder to annihilate.
• It's expensive.
• It's time consuming (each hair is treated individually).
• It causes post-procedure discomfort.

Trimming
Trimming involves the purchase of a sideburn trimmer (available at all department and drugstores). It never really annihilates the hair, but rather trims it down so that it looks neat and your woman can enjoy your “below-the-belt” buffet without having to venture through the jungle.

Pros:

• It doesn't make you itchy like shaving.
• You can do it from the comfort of your home at your leisure.

Cons:

• It doesn't remove hair.
• You will have to trim every couple of weeks.

Reader response:

My man does too but due to him cutting my insides all to rat shit, I have asked him to leave a small patch directly above his shaft. So far so good. I don't feel like i have been screwing razor blades. - CT

My wife an I enjoy anal, but cleaning yourself out for it is a time consuming thing. when watching porn, the women in the movie are so clean, and there is no shit or film on anal ring. how is it done?

The way that most porn-stars get their asses so clean, is by having an enema 1-3 hours before the anal shoot.

First. let me say that an enema isn't necessary in order to have safe, relatively clean anal sex. Many people find that a nice warm and soapy shower or bath and going to the bathroom before anal sex gets them pretty clean. But other people find that an enema helps reassure them about the cleanliness of their asses and the emptiness of their bowels.

If you've never had an enema before, you may want to start with an anal douche; these are popularly called "enemas," but are less complicated to administer. You can buy a Fleet Enema, which has a pre-lubricated nozzle and is easy to use. Make sure you empty out the chemical solution and refill the bottle with plain warm water that feels like it's around body temperature. Squeeze the bottle to release the water into your rectum. Wait a few minutes, go sit on the toilet and let nature take its course. You can repeat the anal douche (about 2-3 times) until your bowels are completely cleaned out.

Giving yourself an enema with an enema bag takes a little more skill, so i suggest that you start with the anal douche.

If you're having an anal douche or enema in preparation for anal sex, you should do it at least 2-3 hours prior to the sex to give your body a chance to reabsorb water and recover. It's not a good idea to have enemas too frequently. They tend to stress out your rectum and too much of this can really throw your rectum, bowels and gastrointestinal tract off balance.

I am interested in trying Serogen. What is the success rate and how soon can I expect to see results?

Larlop

Larlop,

I do know from readers that results vary: some men see dramatic results from using Somalab products like Serogen and Serogen-SP, other men do not. It all depends on how your body breaks down the active ingredient, Cernate (other factors are age, genetics, lifestyle, etc.). A company insider I contacted explains that Somalab has a very high voluntary reorder rate for a continued-use product such as Serogen, and they hope to get the product on retail shelves by the end of the year.

Some men report results in about 4 days, others say 7-10 days, others even longer. Serogen must be taken every day in order to be effectual. Please see www.somalab.net for more information.

UPDATE: This testimonial was sent to me by a reader:

Nancy Ann,

When I read your article on Serogen in a Swank magazine a few months ago, I decided to try it. But I want to let you know that it took me at least 3 months before I saw the results. After two weeks of using Serogen and not having any reults I decided to use some Viagra and I stopped using Serogen. Now since I stopped using Viagra for the last two weeks, I decided to come back to Serogen and ... what a blast !!!! I don't know if it's because I took some Viagra but now I can tell you that I won't need Viagra anymore. Please, let me know if there is any interaction between the two products. I'm hard as a rock and thanks to Serogen.

Sincerely yours,

S