How can I get my wife to give me head & have anal sex?

OOOH!! There's a loaded question.

Let's start with the basics - have you ever asked her? (Have you asked her in a nice, loving and non whiny or demanding way?) Do you return the favor? (I just finished writing out again that I believe oral sex should be a two-way street. Don't expect someone to do for you what you won't do for them.)

Let's start with the easy one - how do you get her to blow you...

Before I go any further, I must tell you that it is VERY VERY IMPORTANT that you never nag, get demanding, manipulative, angry or wear her down asking every day. Always be patient, and that to do these things for you would put her in a wonderful position of having you turn to putty in your hands. I'm amazed at how many men whine and wheedle, "C'mon, blow me," instead of something simple and nice like, '"Having your mouth on me would turn me into complete putty." Or something.

With that said, has she ever tried? Does she flat out refuse or does she try but have a difficult time of it? DO NOT make her feel pressured. Ask her one night, nicely, to please try or try again. If she says no, ASK HER to please think about it, and try when she feels ready. That will make her feel like she has some control over it, that she's not being pressured and will most likely catch her in a mood where she feels like doing something for you.

There are 3 reasons women don't want to give blow-jobs: they're afraid they'll be no good at it, they have a bad gag reflex, or they think it's "gross." The gag reflex can be dealt with - tell her to start out slow, don't worry about taking the whole enchilada into her mouth at once. Do what she can, comfortably - trust me, you can build up a strong gag reflex with practice.

If she thinks it's gross... seduce the hell out of her and go on about how sexy all her 2000 parts are and try to slowly change her view of "gross" to "hot as hell."

If all that works, no matter how it turns out, GO ON AND ON AND ON, afterward about how amazing it was to have her do that to you, and how appreciative you are and something like "YOWSA!! That felt good." Do not immediately mention her doing it again. The key is to make her feel like she's in a position of power and that she was damn hot in that position.

The same stuff goes for your second request. Except it's probably going to be waaaaaaay harder to talk her into that one. I've found that women typically go in one of two directions with the anal sex thing. Love it or hate it. Minds can be changed, women can be convinced, but this is one you may have to resign yourself to never being allowed to do. At the very least, we can see if she'll at least TRY it once, right? And tell her that - just try it twice and if it's absolutely horrible and she just can't get her mind around it, you won't ask again. (I say twice because that first nervous experimental time isn't a good gauge for either of you.)

Now - women don't want to do THIS one for many reasons: it's "gross", it's too taboo & kinky and they're not supposed to want to do that, it's uncomfortable or painful or they're afraid it will be, or just plain old-fashioned embarrassment. Same as before - don't beg, threaten, demand. Ask nicely, make her feel sexy yadda yadda yadda. Everything I said previously but EVEN MORE SO. Tell her if she'll just TRY it, you'll go at a pace that's comfortable for her, you'll stop if she needs you to, that it will make you the happiest man on the planet (the point is it should make her feel hot & sexy not shy or uncomfortable). Don't make TOO big a fuss of it if she agrees, or it becomes awkward, but do plan ahead. I've already written too much to go into technique here - your question is how to get her to do it, not how to do it, eh? Ask me that after she agrees. But DO offer to let her get a feel for it first with either toys or the good-old fingers. And I'm going to tell you to have a few drinks first.

Seriously. No, I mean SERIOUSLY. Not so many that you're both wasted, but enough that you have a good buzz. That will keep you both relaxed and up the likelihood that she'll enjoy it. Most women seem to hate it after trying it because they say it hurt - because they weren't relaxed enough. So that, of course, makes it less likely she'll do it again.

Good luck, and if she says yes, ask me all about the technique!

How do I convince my wife to agree to anal sex?

My advice would be to ask her. Tell her that you think that it is really hot and you will make sure that you don’t hurt her. Make sure that she is completely relaxed. Maybe have a couple glasses of wine. If she is not relaxed it will hurt her. Make sure that you prepare her by inserting a finger or two into her anus. Use lubrication, it helps. You can use something like KY Jelly or lotion. Very slowly put your penis into your anus and tell her that if at any time she feels too uncomfortable that you will stop.

As a side note, do not pull your penis all the way out and then reinsert it fully again. This is a little painful. Good luck.

Update: From Askmen.com

Because anal sex feels good

Women love anal sex because it can feel absolutely incredible. It's different in sensation and it doesn’t feel like anything else she may have felt before -- it's deep inside, it's not her clitoris and is not in her vagina, but feels strangely like both in a sort of mixed-up combination in another part of her body. The rectum, once it’s ready, literally swallows the penis up and can’t get enough. The back passage transforms itself into a sexual playground. If the clitoris and/or vagina are stimulated while you are inside of her, it can take her to another sexual realm. Anal orgasms are possible.

I like things inserted into my anus. Am I gay?

Definitely not. Many men enjoy having things put into their anus. The prostate, located inside your anal cavity, is very sensitive and sexually arousing when stimulated. There is no need to feel shame about this. It is completely normal. Unless you want to put another man’s penis in your anus, you are not gay.

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The "P Spot" is for men what the G Spot is for women. A cluster of very sensitive nerve endings, that when stimulated, usually with an adult sex toy, can lead to some of the most intense orgasms you can have. For a man, that means the service of an anal sex toy is necessary –– and "Please My P Spot" is your ticket to paradise!

Silicone is a superior, more durable and hygienic material for any sex toy, anal or otherwise. Use water-based Adam & Eve sex lube whenever you plan on anal sex toy or vibrator use. As your body grabs onto the butt toy, sensations ripple throughout your genital area.

Add to the already pleasurable sensations by inserting the waterproof bullet vibrator. The vibrator's remote control has seven levels and patterns of vibrations to send through your prostate. You won't believe how hard you'll come.

The prostate stimulator is easier to clean if you first slip a condom over it, then lube the condom. When you're done, just remove the condom and your sex toy is as good as new.

Clean with warm water and mild dish soap, then pat dry and let it air dry thoroughly. You can also use Adam & Eve sex toy cleaner.

Batteries in the controller can be changed by unscrewing the cap in the base. Be sure to leave the "o" ring where it is –– this keeps the unit waterproof. Insert 2 AA batteries with plus "+" and minus "-" sides up as indicated inside.

When you use prostate stimulation alone or especially with a partner, get set from some fireworks! It's way more than just an anal dildo!

I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and we have been experimenting with anal sex. We are having trouble with her relaxing her muscles. We have used various toys and my fingers but I can not insert my penis because I'm afraid I will hurt her. Can you recommend any exercises, positions or sex toys that will help?

Patience is really the biggest thing you need to make anal sex possible. Initial penetration is always the most difficult part of anal sex -- the anus is a tight ring of flesh at the opening of the rectum designed to control the elimination of bodily waste. It is partially under voluntary control, and partially reflexive to stimulation. Your partner has to relax, and you have to go slow to coax it into opening enough to receive your penis.

Start with a well-lubricated finger or a slim (smaller than your penis) dildo. The dildo is more realistic, but your fingers can flex and feel what they're doing inside her ass. Slide one finger in slowly, letting her adjust to it. Take your finger all the way out, then push it back in again. Give her anus time to get used to this kind of activity. Then slide a second finger in. Consider how big your penis is and realize that two fingers is probably enough.

For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important. Many women want to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs. Other like to lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be penetrated while lying on their sides. Choose what's best before you start. As always, control yourself. Take your time and use lots of lubricant. Listen to her -- if she tells you it starts to hurt, back off.

Eventually, a time will come during your lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of your cock to 'pop' into her. If she is completely relaxed, that pop should feel completely painless. Now just because you're inside her is no reason to start pounding away like mad. Let her body adjust. Take your time. Eventually you will both be ready for more. As a side note, a couple glasses of wine before starting may help calm her fears of pain and leave you both open to a more relaxed situation. Good luck. Be gentle.

My wife an I enjoy anal, but cleaning yourself out for it is a time consuming thing. when watching porn, the women in the movie are so clean, and there is no shit or film on anal ring. how is it done?

The way that most porn-stars get their asses so clean, is by having an enema 1-3 hours before the anal shoot.

First. let me say that an enema isn't necessary in order to have safe, relatively clean anal sex. Many people find that a nice warm and soapy shower or bath and going to the bathroom before anal sex gets them pretty clean. But other people find that an enema helps reassure them about the cleanliness of their asses and the emptiness of their bowels.

If you've never had an enema before, you may want to start with an anal douche; these are popularly called "enemas," but are less complicated to administer. You can buy a Fleet Enema, which has a pre-lubricated nozzle and is easy to use. Make sure you empty out the chemical solution and refill the bottle with plain warm water that feels like it's around body temperature. Squeeze the bottle to release the water into your rectum. Wait a few minutes, go sit on the toilet and let nature take its course. You can repeat the anal douche (about 2-3 times) until your bowels are completely cleaned out.

Giving yourself an enema with an enema bag takes a little more skill, so i suggest that you start with the anal douche.

If you're having an anal douche or enema in preparation for anal sex, you should do it at least 2-3 hours prior to the sex to give your body a chance to reabsorb water and recover. It's not a good idea to have enemas too frequently. They tend to stress out your rectum and too much of this can really throw your rectum, bowels and gastrointestinal tract off balance.

I recently purchased some anal toys and I'm having a hard time penetrating my girlfriend. I have made sure that we use plenty of lube but she can't relax her muscles. Can you recommend any exercises or positions? I don't want to hurt her.

At first anal penetration can be a bit uncomfortable. I have always said that a few drinks beforehand never hurt. Try inserting your lubed finger first. Keep your finger inside her until you can feel her relax around it. Depending on how big your toy is, you may want to try this with two fingers. I think that ass in the air is the best position for training. As soon as you slowly take your fingers out, begin to insert the toy. Also make sure that you are keeping her stimulated by rubbing her clit. It will help her relax and keep lubricated.