Dealing with a Profound Problem
I am a woman in my 50's and currently involved in the first stages of dating a man who is approximately the same age. He has confided in me his problem: erectile dysfunction (ED). He claims it is physiologically-based.
This is the first time I've encountered this. His sense of desolation is profound and hurts me. Anything I say only seems to make him frustrated and angry. Existing drugs and therapies are not options for various reasons.
Any advice you can give me would be welcome. I haven’t been able to find much information online for partners of men with ED.
Cynthia
Cynthia: Let me begin by saying that your patience and compassion are commendable. ED is a condition that couples go through TOGETHER. Couple’s counseling is great and speaking openly about the problem eases the anxiety men experience when dealing with ED.
ED is a problem that’s more common than people realize and its causes are too numerous to mention here. Consult a physician and educate yourself with the facts. The upside however, is that there are many treatment options outside of traditional pharmaceuticals and surgical procedures.
Most importantly, erectile dysfunction doesn’t have to mean the end of intimacy. Learning new positions, using accessories and educating yourself about various techniques that bring pleasure without intercourse, etc., can be a lot of fun.
I included the table of contents with my book recommendation on this subject. I also enclosed some helpful Web links.
Hope this helps.
Recommended Reading:Putting Impotence to Bed: What Every Woman & Man Needs to Know
More Resources:
http://www.8sxe.com/html/Sexual-Health/200905/27-164.html
http://www.draroras.com/index.php?module=article&pageid=53
Uncut Masturbatory Annoyance
My penis is uncut and yet when I masturbate my foreskin becomes exposed and starts to get sensitive and it stings to the touch. I find this annoying. Is there any product that might help cut down on the irritation?
Jimmy
Whether circumcised or uncircumcised, the method of self sexual stimulation for all men is identical: the movement and friction created by using your own hands stimulates the nerve endings on the head and shaft of the penis. However, uncut men have more to worry about than their cut brothers.
Overly vigorous stimulation can sometimes lead to Phimosis and/or paraphimosis).
My gender limits me from giving you detailed advice, but one way to avoid the irritation you are experiencing is as simple as changing up your masturbatory approach and technique as well as lengthening the time between masturbatory intervals.
One effective way to reduce the onset of friction that might be leading your skin to become irritated is to use a good water-based lubricant (there are dozens of excellent Silicone-based lubricants on the market). Silicone-based lubricants are your best bet since they do not tend to get sticky and therefore are less likely to cause irritation (click here
Hope this helps.
Retrograde Ejaculation
Dear Nancy-Ann, I have no problem getting an erection. As a matter of fact I can get it up everyday if necessary. My problem is with ejaculation. My girlfriend loves oral sex and isn't satisfied unless I come in her mouth. She wants to swallow as much of my semen as she can get but the problem is she is not getting any because when I climax there is no semen pumping out of my penis.
My penis throbs like I was going to come but no semen. All my climaxes have been dry runs. What is my problem and will any of the Serogen products work for me?
Bobby
Well Bobby, let me first say I don’t know who I envy more, you or girlfriend. A partner who’s willing AND able is every girls wish. As for your lack of ejaculate during climax, that may be potentially more serious. It sounds like what you are experiencing is a condition called retrograde ejaculation. The causes range from diabetes, BPH, side effects of certain prescription meds, or the results of surgical procedures. I am not a doctor, so please don’t take this as a professional diagnosis!! Get to a doctor.
I am an outspoken believer in the beneficial qualities of Serogen, as it promotes overall prostate health. In your case, I suggest you consult a urologist as soon as possible to get your condition diagnosed correctly so you then find out from a professional what your options are.
Two-Pump Chump
Dear Nancy:
I'll get right to the point. I'm a two-pump chump. I need help. I've tried several techniques exorcises and supplements. I'm recently divorced and would like to play the field before I settle down again, but the return rate is not so good because of this. I would really love to give them orgasms by penetration instead of orally or manually. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Less F.- Hotmail
Hmmm. A two-pump chump. Some of the obvious cures: Masturbate prior to having sex with your lady. Can't hurt to try: There's also "delay" creams available for men in your predicament, which helps desensitize the nerve endings in the tissue of skin around shaft and head of penis. One I know of off-hand is Doc Johnsons Power Delay Cream. 
I don't know how effective this particular product is, but is one of many of this type of product. Doc Johnsons just happens to be a name I know of.
Fleshlight is currently offering a 10% discount on their product if you use the coupon code STAMINA.
The key to lasting longer in bed and becoming the lover that every girl dreams about is not a cream, not a pill, and not a potion... Its PRACTICE. The Fleshlight STU™ (Stamina Training Unit) masturbation product is a sex toy for men specifically designed to replicate the incredible sensation of sexual intercourse in order to help you find your rhythm and obtain peak sexual performance. With our patented Real Feel Super Skin® masturbation sleeve and a specially designed inner canal texture the STU provides the most intense and pleasurable training experience possible. Just follow the Sexual Stamina training routines in our exclusive e-booklet available at purchase and you will have all the tools necessary to have total control over your ejaculation. When you masturbate using the Fleshlight STU, not only will you be improving your sexual stamina and techniques, you'll experience the intense orgasms that can only be achieved by using Fleshlight sex toys for men. If you can last 10 minutes in the STU, you can last 20 minutes in bed with anyone. The Fleshlight Pink Lady STU comes complete with the exclusive Gold Fleshlight Case.
Included FREE with every purchase is the STU field manual. Within this online guide, accessible from the confirmation screen upon purchase of the product, you can hone the skills of brinksmanship, practice psychological diversions, even improve and explore different rhythms and methods of penetration all with a sex toy that is so realistic that the transition will be seamless.
Speak Up!
Nancy-Ann,
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and I have no problem getting her to achieve orgasm. But she is never very vocal during sex, which makes me feel like it’s not big enough. I've talked to her about getting penis enlargement pills but she says that it would only make the sex bad. Should I try to secretly increase my size with pills? And why is she not vocal when we have sex?
BH - Via the Internet
BH,
Why is it you equate your girlfriend not being vocal during sex with your penis size and your self-perception of its (inadequate) measurement? Maybe she's just not an openly vocal person when it comes to sex. Not all women are. Many feel embarrassed to hear themselves out loud. Some prefer to be in their heads and bodies instead of being overly, verbally demonstrative.
It seems your girlfriend is perfectly satisfied with your size and technique; I mean, you say she reaches orgasm, right? So what's the problem with your size? This seems like an issue of inadequacy conjured solely in your mind.
Instead of talking to her about getting enlargement pills, why not talk to her about how much of a turn-on it would be if she could tell you (aloud) how it feels while you're getting her off?
Hope this helps.
N-A
Earth Shattering BJ
I just have a simple question. How do you give an earth-shattering blow-job to your boyfriend?
Every man likes different things when it comes to getting a blow-job, but I can give you the basics of an amazing blow-job. First cup his balls with one hand and take his entire penis into your mouth. Get him wet by pulling your tongue and lips from the base of his penis to the head. Hold the shaft of his penis in your hand and lick the head like you are licking an ice cream cone. Alternate this with sucking his penis as far into your mouth as you can. Often the combination of a hand-job at the base of the penis and a good wet suction at the head will help him come. Continue sucking until he comes. A lot of men love it when you swallow, but he may also want to ejaculate on your body.
Touchy, Tickley Situation
Dear Nancy:
My girlfriend has a very sensitive clit and it is so hard giving her oral sex. She says it hurts sometimes or it tickles too much. Can you give me any advice on what I need to do? Oral sex is one of my favorite things and its not working out.
E.S. - Via Internet
This is a "touchy" situation! Hmmm. The best way to approach her is to be verbally open, first and foremost, letting her know how important it is to please her orally. Then ... first step: warm her up with a bunch of foreplay. Next step: Let her touch herself while your mug is down in the area to be sucked. Let her allow herself to get excited and "loose" ... talk it out. This can be very sexy! Then let her guide first your fingers, then mouth and tongue, gently (tell her to keep an open dialogue the whole while).
With this type of approach, you hope that she becomes comfortable. If you're both patient enough, it will happen and the rewards will be unforgettable!
Last note: Do you have a beard or mustache? Chin spinach can be abrasive and uncomfortable. Even a light but coarse five-o'clock shadow can make for a tickle.
Hope this helps.
N-A
Ok to Ingest Sperm?
If you drink sperm, does it cause any health problems?
There absolutely no health risks to swallowing sperm. It is pure protein and will not any way negatively affect you. Drink up.
How Small is Small?
How small is small??? I am 5 and ½, is that good?
The average penis size is 5 and ½ inches. You are entirely normal.
Small Penis
My penis is really, REALLY SMALL, and I am afraid that when time comes for me to have sex with my girlfriend, she will just laugh, and then dump me for being really small. What can I do?!?!??!
What can you do? There is only one option. Tell her.
You can't know until you try. Worst case is that you will get laughed at and/or she will dump you. Best case is that she won't care what size you are. You won't find out unless you talk to her.
The question : Does size matter?
The answer: Yes. But....
But... not to all women. Some women are "size queens" and size is of vital importance. Other women are far more concerned about technique or foreplay or simply personality.
I don't know what you mean by REALLY small. Average is 5" to 6". Small would be below 5" and REALLY small would be below 4". In my mind at any rate. Size is also in the eyes of the beholder. If your girlfriend is a virgin or has only been with lesser endowed men then she won't be put off.
Also, woman's vagina's vary in size too. Some women want a smaller penis as larger ones hurt them.
Good luck.
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